So Much Beauty in the World

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars. And yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined our street. Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janie... and Janie. And... Carolyn. I guess I could be really pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."

This is the end monologue of one of my favorite movies, American Beauty, I quoted a piece of it in my senior quote.

I've heard this and read it so many times and its almost brought me to tears, but today I sort of feel more of an understanding of it than ever before. At this moment right now I really do feel like there is just so much beauty in the world, everywhere I look. I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in or about to burst, like the quote says, but I can't do anything about it. Right now I don't want to let go of it; I don't really think I can even if I wanted to. So right now I am sitting in my chair at my computer screen in pain from how happy I am; although pain might not be the right word because I love it at the same time. Today was a wonderful day.